Dude Jumps Through Window, Misses Pool and Shatters Glass In The Least Shocking Video You'll See Today

Every morning I scan through Daily Mail to see if they have any leads on stories or instagram THOTS to post for blogs. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't. Pretty good reference for myself and I'm sure others at Barstool all things considered though. The only problem with the Daily Mail is that they add wayyyy too much hyperbole to just about every one of their titles. It'll say shit like, 

"Stunning pictures of Jessica Alba's snail and pert derierre surface after the actress shops for a Snapple at Walgreens" 

to which I'll click immediately. But it'll usually just be a couple of paparazzi pics from like a 9 iron away. Now don't get me wrong, here and there they hit a 4 bagger. I'm not going to link it because no free ads, but I saw a Daily Mail title a few days ago that said, 

"Derek Jeter was an overrated slap hitter than couldn't field a baseball if his very mediocre life depended on it"

to which I'll nod my head in agreement and say to myself, "as someone in the blogging game, that's a perfect title." 

Fast forward to today: I stumbled on a video this morning of this dude jumping through some window into a pool. Here was the title: 

Horrifying moment banker’s pool dive stunt goes horribly wrong as he leaps into pool and crashes into glass panel while celebrating his 30th birthday

And we will use that title for a reference for the rest of the blog and here is the video:

Okay. Solid enough video. Does is warrant a deep-diving WSD think piece? Eh... probably not. Some might argue not at all. But remember folks, this is a blog to give you into the look of the brain of a blogger that can't find any other good stories this morning. The *actual* video doesn't matter. It was either this video or a link to the new Gigi Hadid sex tape that just dropped.

Wasn't sure if it was in my lane to blog the hottest sex tape I've ever seen, so I opted with the Russian window swan dive instead. But then I saw this dude's named "Dimitri Prigorodov". Yes, that's his actually name, and he's a 30 year old banker. 

A 30 year old Russian (probably) coked out banker doing insane shit? Snooooooooooze. That's every single day for people with Russian blood. I feel like they probably get off on this kinda shit and these kinda videos are a dime a dozen on the internet. 

What's horrifying isn't the Russian dude maybe gutting himself or snapping his spine. It's that I got duped into writing about this video instead of Gigi Hadid's sex tape.  

Too late to start a new blog though. I'm past the point of no return. Sorry, but not sorry